Let me just start with a great big....
*sigh*
Why do animals think that shit smells like roses? And I am not talking "shit" as in "stuff". I am talking about shit as in SHIT or PISS.
Feces or urine.
Excrement of any kind.
Or for those of you out there like me, who love these terms......doodey and pee pee.
And no, this is not going to be about how my dogs rolled in dogshit or something dead in the yard.
Let me just start out with this.....I did something on Sunday that I thought I would never have to do, and had managed to NOT do for 13 years: I gave my Ella a bath.
Let me start at the beginning. My dogs, Dascha and Lutz, sleep in the garage at night. They have a rather nice setup in there. They have a heater in the winter and a freaking box fan in the summer. Their water is right there and they have several large sheets as dog beds.
Hey, it's not the fucking Ritz, but it is better than the cold wet ground.
So I noticed that for about two days the dogs were not sleeping in the garage at night. I would wake up and find them tucked together in tight little balls in the flower bed.
Why are they doing that? I pondered.
Just dumb I guess. I reasoned.
Then Sunday comes. Joshua is working in the garage and trekking in and out. He leaves the door open while I am in the kitchen doing dishes. A few minutes later I meander past the garage door and see my Ella IN THE GARAGE ROLLING IN THE DOG SHEETS!!
Y'all, this animal doesn't go ANYWHERE near the outside, so needless to say I am blown away.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?? I yelled.
With that she popped up and ran like hell back in the house.
I chased her down, picked her up, and...................WHAT THE HOLY HELL IS THAT???
She reeked. She smelled rotten.
It was all over her. Then it was all over me.
FUCKING CAT PISS!!!!
My outdoor cat apparently took it upon himself to hose down the dog sheets with pee pee. And wouldn't you know it, the fucking dogs are smart enough to steer clear of it, but my Ella is right up in that shit rolling around in it like it were a $500 bottle of froo froo perfume.
Dumbass.
So she got a bath in the sink, and I can report this.....she more than paid for her transgression.
But now she smells like Lavender scented Dawn, and people......
I can sure live with that over cat piss.
*sigh*
Why do animals think that shit smells like roses? And I am not talking "shit" as in "stuff". I am talking about shit as in SHIT or PISS.
Feces or urine.
Excrement of any kind.
Or for those of you out there like me, who love these terms......doodey and pee pee.
And no, this is not going to be about how my dogs rolled in dogshit or something dead in the yard.
Let me just start out with this.....I did something on Sunday that I thought I would never have to do, and had managed to NOT do for 13 years: I gave my Ella a bath.
Let me start at the beginning. My dogs, Dascha and Lutz, sleep in the garage at night. They have a rather nice setup in there. They have a heater in the winter and a freaking box fan in the summer. Their water is right there and they have several large sheets as dog beds.
Hey, it's not the fucking Ritz, but it is better than the cold wet ground.
So I noticed that for about two days the dogs were not sleeping in the garage at night. I would wake up and find them tucked together in tight little balls in the flower bed.
Why are they doing that? I pondered.
Just dumb I guess. I reasoned.
Then Sunday comes. Joshua is working in the garage and trekking in and out. He leaves the door open while I am in the kitchen doing dishes. A few minutes later I meander past the garage door and see my Ella IN THE GARAGE ROLLING IN THE DOG SHEETS!!
Y'all, this animal doesn't go ANYWHERE near the outside, so needless to say I am blown away.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?? I yelled.
With that she popped up and ran like hell back in the house.
I chased her down, picked her up, and...................WHAT THE HOLY HELL IS THAT???
She reeked. She smelled rotten.
It was all over her. Then it was all over me.
FUCKING CAT PISS!!!!
My outdoor cat apparently took it upon himself to hose down the dog sheets with pee pee. And wouldn't you know it, the fucking dogs are smart enough to steer clear of it, but my Ella is right up in that shit rolling around in it like it were a $500 bottle of froo froo perfume.
Dumbass.
So she got a bath in the sink, and I can report this.....she more than paid for her transgression.
But now she smells like Lavender scented Dawn, and people......
I can sure live with that over cat piss.
8 Genius remarks:
Ewww no one likes a stinky pussy
LMAO! Love it!
With our cats, they get a back about once a year, and it's never pretty. Just hold them by the scruff and get it done as soon as possible. And when you're down, they will stalk around the house, giving you the stink eye as they plan your demise.
I hope Ella has learned her lesson. :)
That is best cat picture ever. And I'm sorry that you smelled like cat pee. Ew.
This is why cats should be burned. No mercy!
She looks like a Gremlin. Unfortunately, you got her wet, but please, God, don't feed her after midnight!
This post cracked me up (along with the first comment about stinky pussy)!
Thanks for the laugh!
Tee Hee haw haw....
"...no one likes a stinky pussy."
Uhrm, 'nuff said.
Post a Comment