Interesting Fact.....

Hmmmm......I am sitting in my scrapbooking studio creating something beautiful and watching things that horrify.

This is ALL me, yo.

So when I am looking for the next great grindy flick, I come across this in my Netflix (which is totally boss if you don't have it already).

So.....since when is the Secret of NIHM a "dark" movie?  It's a fucking KIDS CARTOON about mice and rats that are super intelligent and live in a field.  And notice the movies it keeps company with......Natural Born Killers/The Crow/The Lost Boys/Prophecy.

Hmmmm......makes you wonder if maybe the movie IS really dark, and i just didn't get that shit as a kid or something.  I always thought i was a smart insightful kid, but maybe i was just a dumbass that loved cartoons because they were cartoons. 

I am going to watch this again and get back to you on that one.

UPDATE:  So I just watched it again and yup.....NOT dark.

This would be an epic FAIL on Netflix's part i must say.

PS:  If you have never seen it, then watch it.  It really is a great movie.

A Quickie for the Road

I am on my way out the door to attend the memorial service for the mother of my very close friend/co-worker, Duane.  She lost her battle with cancer last Tuesday, and though it is very sad, her family is just happy that she is not suffering anymore.

And in true Amber fashion, out of every tragedy, I can find a little bit of laughter.

So 6 days have lapsed since Duane's mother passed and we found out on Thursday that she had been cremated and the service would be today.  So another friend/co-worker of mine, Wayne, comes into the RMC, sits down and the following conversation is started:

Wayne:  Did you find out when the funeral is going to be, yet?
Me:  Yeah, they cremated his mother yesterday and the memorial service will be on Monday.
Wayne:  Why Monday?
Me:  I don't know....I think they might have been waiting for family members to come into town.
Wayne:  Where is the service going to be at?
Me:  Um...the Martin Luther Lutheran Church on _____________ Road.
Wayne:  So what kind of religion are they?

At this point I turn to stare at him incredulously, thinking he may just be retarded.

Me:  Um, Lutheran.  That is why they are doing the service in a Lutheran church.

The next question both shocked and confused me.

Wayne:  Is that a black church?

Now, I am not sure exactly what a "black church" is.  I imagine it is one mainly populated with black people or even better, one that is painted black on the exterior, but I was confused because there is not "black religion" therefore why would there be a "black church"?

Me:  Um, I don't think so.....I am not really sure.  Why would you think it is a "black church"?
Wayne:  Because they named it after that civil rights leader guy.

REALLY???  Is it possible that I am actually friends with someone that thinks that Martin Luther of the Lutheran Church was "that civil right leader guy"?

Me:  No, dum-dum.  Martin Luther KING was the civil rights guy, MARTIN LUTHER was the priest who started the Lutheran faith....that MAY be why it is called the LUTHERan Church you idiot.
Wayne:  So why did they name that civil rights guy the same name then?
Me:  Ugh, you dummy...they didn't.  They named him after his father, hence the JR. part of his name.  And before you ask....NO, I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY NAMED HIS FATHER AFTER MARTIN LUTHER!!!

Jeebus, some people are just dense.  But DAMN they make work more interesting.

Until next time.....

Me and You

Create a MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Today, my loyal minions, is my 15th wedding anniversary to my Sweet Sweet Joshua.  I sometimes wonder how we made it this far without killing each other.  I sometimes wonder if I could have made it this far without him.  I don't think I would have been able to, to tell you the truth.  See, I like to put up this hard, tough front that I am master of my universe and the ruler of all, but in truth?  My Sweet Joshua is the one that makes me strong.  And for that, I am eternally greatful.

So here we are, 15 years later.  Just me and you.

Here is to 15 more honey bunny.  I love you.

Me and you
singing on the train.

Me and you
listening to the rain.

Me and you
we are the same.

Me and you
Have all the fame we need,
indeed.
Me and you are
we.

Me and you
Singing in the park.

Me and you
Light candles in the dark.

Me and you
We are the spark.

Me and you
We'll watch that light
just make an arc.
To say someday
there will be
a better way.

Me and you 
We're waiting for the dawn.

Me and you
and all the places we've gone.

Me and you
sitting on the lawn.

Me and you
Just singing a song
a rhyme
to shine
and to pass the time.

Me and you
singing to all.

Me and you
we not so small.

Me and you
can stand up tall.

Me and you
just having a ball
Happy to me
you and me.

Douchebag of the Month - June 2011

Yeah, I know....I know.....

I deprived y'all of a DOTM last month.  What can I say?  We all know I am a slacker, but also?  I have been over the top busy.  My family was all in from Missouri week before last and we have just been busy as hell.  Posts about that to come in the very near future.

But, there really is NO excuse for slackness, so I am not even going to bother.

What I will do is introduce our latest Douchebag for your reading enjoyment.

And even though it is six days late, your latest DOTM is......................the white trash asshole.

Living in the South, to say I am surrounding by these ignorant, bigoted asswipes is an understatement.  They are as thick as thieves down here in these parts and unfortunately you can't hardly throw a stick without hitting one.  And may I add, there have been many many times I have wanted to hit one with a stick.

So why pick this special inbreed of human for DOTM?  Well, aside from the obvious, I had a run-in with a whole family of white trash assholes this past weekend.  Well, I didn't have the run-in, as much as my husband and his twin brother did.  Shall I regale you?

This weekend was my niece's high school graduation.  My Lauren is 18, and even though she is not my oldest niece, she is the first to graduate from high school.  So, to me at least, this was quite a big deal.  The whole family had a great evening planned where we would attend the graduation, then gather at a very nice restaurant in town before letting Lauren and her uber cute boyfriend loose to do (what I hate to imagine) was some hard core partying.

The graduation went off without a hitch.  She looked beautiful, and didn't trip on her way to the stage.  PHEW!

So upon exiting the Coliseum, the crowds were MASSIVE.  We were literally shoulder to shoulder with the crowds and I had a death grip on my 11 year old niece, Megs, to make sure we didn't get separated.  And then it happened.

"Dude....watch were you are fucking going asshole.....I will knock you the fuck out!"

Ummmm, what?  I turn in time to see this super white trash dude (you can spot white trash from two towns over) with his finger in my brother-in-law's face.  Jason just stood there with this weird grin on his face and for a half a second I thought they knew each other.  Until Jason pops off with a:

"You better get that fucking finger out of my face before you draw back a fucking stump, buddy."

OH BOY.

Who the fuck picks a fight with someone on a day as wonderful as a high school graduation?  Well, this idiot did.   Not just that, but his uber trashy wife was jst standing there with this stupid look on her face saying NOTHING.  Apparently my BIL bumped into the dude and didn't apologize.  So the dude got up in his face and threatened to "take him out".

Little man syndrome, I am betting.....that and he was white trash, fo sho.

In all the chest thumping and FUCK YOUs that were going on, the white trash dude lets out a fun fact: "Dude, I am a MA cage fighter and I will beat your ass".

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

:breaths:

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am sorry, but if you have to stick into an argument that you are a "MA cage fighter", you are not only a fucking asshole, you are a king sized douchebag.

My husband got in between these two dipshits and nipped the shit in the bud.  He got in the white trash dude's face and told him very simply "This is neither the time nor the place, so you need to move on."

And the dude walked.

Could have been that the dude admitted defeat.  Could have been that he saw the light.  Or it could have been the fact that when my Sweet Sweet Joshua looks at you and calmly says something like that, it scares the living shit out of you.

And trust me, let's just say Jason didn't go without an ass chewing himself.

But what did I learn?  Well, that my Lauren is a grown up and I yet again feel old as fuck; that and......

......douchebags will be present at any and all of your special occasions, so you have to be prepared.

Biggest Slacker Award

See......my followers love me so much that when I actually admit to being a slacker, they hop to and make me a specialized award:

Thank you Iron Criterion, my favorite metal minion, for this award.

Don't you wish the rest of you bitches were cool enough to be a slacker too?  You too can be a slacker if you really put your mind to it.  Take it from the Queen of Slack, if I can do it, so can you.

PS:  And no I am not sending this one to anyone else BECAUSE IT IS ALL MINE!! 

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...........