With this post, I officially have 12 Douchebag of the Month posts under my belt. So I have become quite the expert on Douchebags in the last year.
Yeah, not the type of thing you really want to be known for, but oh, well....I will take it, smile and say "thank you".
Because my Mama raised me right, yo.
So who will it be this month? To me, I didn't want to go obvious. I was really thinking of doing a post on Charlie Sheen seeing he is pretty much self destructing before our eyes, but he is doing a good job of showing the world his own douchebaggery, so why add salt to the wound, right? (Do I smell the next Gary Busey?)
So I went a little LESS obvious.
NO! I am not pissed that the director of Inception was snubbed, or that the King's Speech won four Oscars or WHATEVER. I am pissed about the whole fucking system.
Why do we give awards for something so ridiculous and superfluous as acting? AND BEFORE YOU JUMP ON MY ASS....I do watch television, and movies....I enjoy the cinema. Hell, even Sweet Joshua and I have been known to enjoy taking in plays at the beautiful Dock Street Theater............but awards for playing pretend?
WTF?
And not just awards, but an all out affair that newspapers, TV shows, even the fucking NIGHTLY NEWS comment on for months leading up to the actual event and for weeks afterwards. Endless droning on and on about "Who is going to win", "Who was snubbed" and "What is ________going to wear?" WHO CARES?? Think of all the money that is wasted on this stupid event.....AND FOR WHAT?
So the actor that is nominated or wins can walk around with an inflated sense of self and start demanding even MORE fucking money for this pointless line of work...."Oh, I am worth SO much more than 15 million a film.....I demand at least 20 million to film four months of playing dress up and acting like an asshole". Then the prices of movie tickets go up so not only do I have to save for three months to see a movie, but now I have to take out a second mortgage just to have popcorn and a drink.....GOD FORBID IF I WANT NACHOS!! All because YOU THINK YOUR SHIT DOESN'T STINK!!
WELL, FUCK YOU!
An Oscar doesn't mean shit to me. I don't care if you won all the awards and swept the Oscars, that doesn't mean I am going to waste my time watching your crappy overly dramatic movie (I am looking RIGHT AT YOU James Cameron). And just because you won an award doesn't mean that it makes you a better actor/better director than someone who didn't win the award. Case in point:
Marisa Tomei. They really gave her an award for smacking her gum annoyingly and putting on a Jersey accent? Puh-leeze.
I can name 50 actors that were better than she was in that movie (a movie which I like, by the way.....so don't get me wrong). One off the top of my head?
Hey, I was just going with my gut. And we are on the topic of "ridiculous" so this fits. That and the fact that Zombieland and Bill Murray are way better than My Cousin Vinny and Marisa Tomei any day in my book.
All I can say is this.....ENOUGH ALL READY. We put these assholes on a pedestal for all the wrong reasons and the Academy Awards just make that pedestal higher. We should be worshipping so many other types of people other than these big headed self righteous assholes, and the people that award them Oscars.
And you know who we should be worshipping, so I am not get all sentimental and tell you who to worship. If I have to tell you that, then you really are not smart enough to be reading my blog.
Now get off our ass and go watch Zombieland.
Yeah, not the type of thing you really want to be known for, but oh, well....I will take it, smile and say "thank you".
Because my Mama raised me right, yo.
So who will it be this month? To me, I didn't want to go obvious. I was really thinking of doing a post on Charlie Sheen seeing he is pretty much self destructing before our eyes, but he is doing a good job of showing the world his own douchebaggery, so why add salt to the wound, right? (Do I smell the next Gary Busey?)
So I went a little LESS obvious.
And with that said, the award for March's Douchebag of the Month goes to...............................the Academy!
As in, the fucktards at the Academy Awards.
NO! I am not pissed that the director of Inception was snubbed, or that the King's Speech won four Oscars or WHATEVER. I am pissed about the whole fucking system.
Why do we give awards for something so ridiculous and superfluous as acting? AND BEFORE YOU JUMP ON MY ASS....I do watch television, and movies....I enjoy the cinema. Hell, even Sweet Joshua and I have been known to enjoy taking in plays at the beautiful Dock Street Theater............but awards for playing pretend?
WTF?
And not just awards, but an all out affair that newspapers, TV shows, even the fucking NIGHTLY NEWS comment on for months leading up to the actual event and for weeks afterwards. Endless droning on and on about "Who is going to win", "Who was snubbed" and "What is ________going to wear?" WHO CARES?? Think of all the money that is wasted on this stupid event.....AND FOR WHAT?
So the actor that is nominated or wins can walk around with an inflated sense of self and start demanding even MORE fucking money for this pointless line of work...."Oh, I am worth SO much more than 15 million a film.....I demand at least 20 million to film four months of playing dress up and acting like an asshole". Then the prices of movie tickets go up so not only do I have to save for three months to see a movie, but now I have to take out a second mortgage just to have popcorn and a drink.....GOD FORBID IF I WANT NACHOS!! All because YOU THINK YOUR SHIT DOESN'T STINK!!
WELL, FUCK YOU!
An Oscar doesn't mean shit to me. I don't care if you won all the awards and swept the Oscars, that doesn't mean I am going to waste my time watching your crappy overly dramatic movie (I am looking RIGHT AT YOU James Cameron). And just because you won an award doesn't mean that it makes you a better actor/better director than someone who didn't win the award. Case in point:
Marisa Tomei. They really gave her an award for smacking her gum annoyingly and putting on a Jersey accent? Puh-leeze.
I can name 50 actors that were better than she was in that movie (a movie which I like, by the way.....so don't get me wrong). One off the top of my head?
Bill Murray in Zombieland
Hey, I was just going with my gut. And we are on the topic of "ridiculous" so this fits. That and the fact that Zombieland and Bill Murray are way better than My Cousin Vinny and Marisa Tomei any day in my book.
All I can say is this.....ENOUGH ALL READY. We put these assholes on a pedestal for all the wrong reasons and the Academy Awards just make that pedestal higher. We should be worshipping so many other types of people other than these big headed self righteous assholes, and the people that award them Oscars.
And you know who we should be worshipping, so I am not get all sentimental and tell you who to worship. If I have to tell you that, then you really are not smart enough to be reading my blog.
Now get off our ass and go watch Zombieland.
13 comments:
It's funny you had this today, because I was just thinking how weird it was that we have these types of awards in the first place...like how do the Grammys, or Emmys (or Oscars) even get started in the first place? Does someone in the industry say "hey, let's have a night where we basically pat ourselves on the back and have a big circle jerk." And then, we (meaning everyone NOT in the industry) somehow get duped into (me included) watching these things and thinking these awards hold some sort of importance, which they clearly don't, because as you pointed out, there are people getting these awards who really don't deserve them. Although, I do wish the Razzies were televised.
I can't even handle watching the Oscars. I want to punch people when they give their acceptance speeches.
Rule #2 the Double Tap. I can't believe that Zombieland didn't get the Oscar nod a few years back. That movie was so fucking funny. Zombies and comedy go hand in hand. And Bill Murray playing himself in the Zombie Apocolypse fucking awesome!!!!!!
Too damn funny!! I was watching The Exorcist again while the awards were on. Why, well, because there's no such thing as too much pea soup. I did, however, catch the MAN in the bedroom watching the Oscars....I asked him, "Why the hell are you watching an awards show put on by people who think they are so great they need an award and a party for it?" He just chuckled and continued watching.....I do believe my MAN is a closet homosexual. No, seriously, he likes the Oscars, will watch ANY Tom Hanks movie repeatedly (especially Forest Gump and You've got Mail- I tell him it's his man crush) can pick out paint color, is a whiz at home decor, has a 'thing' about proper table etiquette and can accessorize any of my outfits better than I can. Holy Crap! I married my mother.
Hahah I totally agree, the media puts way too much attention on any sort of award show. And most of the time, the movies/actors/directors that actually deserve an award (aka those who make a movie that actually has a plot and isn't a remake of some movie they made last year) don't get much, if any, recognition. I especially hate when what some stupid celebrity is going to wear is the whole topic of the news. THE NEWS. Why is this news? Isn't the news supposed to be global and political, local, and about things we should actually know about? No, it's about sports and fashion now. I don't mind the fashion, but leave it to the Internet, at least.
Though I do think that Haley girl who played the daughter in True Grit was a really great actor. I was highly surprised when she didn't win anything...
zombieland was awesome and yes, mr. murray was wonderful.
i don't know why i watch these stupid 'i'll fluff you, you fluff me' awards.
but i do.
every fucking one of them ... then when they're done i think, what else could i have been doing during that time?!?!?!?!
I can't stand any of these industry award things, they're just self agrandisement at its worst.
Is it bad that I like Gary Busey?
Yup. It's a giant self-congratulatory mutual masturbation-athon. And I'd rather have my tooth pulled than watch an acceptance speech. I have to disagree with you on My Cousin Vinny though, Marisa Tomei was nothing short of brilliant in that.
Bill Murray + Zombieland = Greatest cameo ever.
And I totally agree,I would rather watch Inception or The Expendables any day of the week than some pretentious bullshit that has been lauded and given many awards by all the lovies.
I skipped out on watching them this year as I already had a feeling they were going to be crap!
Congo-rats Amber on your 12th DBOTM!!!
Hi Amber. I have left you a little something (not sure why that doesn't sound as good as it should) on my blog, in a post called Ooooh SHINY.
Well said! The celebrity fixation in this country has reached ridiculous proportions and these shows have always helped to fuel it. I do agree that Bill Murray is awesome though and that scene in Zombieland was kick ass.
FINALLY... someone who feels the same way I do!
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