So I was watching Judge Judy yesterday when I saw yet another cell phone commercial come on. I didn't get up to refill my sweet tea because I was just being a lazy f**k. So there I sat, staring at the TV when I noticed this was no ordinary cell phone commercial.
It was for something called "Assurance Wireless" by Virgin Mobile. It was an ad for a phone with 250 minutes THAT IS FREE!
How do you get this free phone, you may be asking.....
Well, all you have to do is be on welfare, get food stamps or be on some other type of government support program.
Yes, you heard me right. They are now giving f**king cell phones away to people on welfare.
WHAT THE F**KING F**K???????
Now this pissed me off people. Why the HELL does the government think we should provide cell phone to people on government assistance? Seriously. If they are going to start giving cell phones away to people for doing nothing but sitting at home collecting money from the government, why am I even working everyday?
And YES.....I am aware that not all people who receive government assistance are lazy no good assholes. I AM NOT RETARDED, YOU KNOW. I am aware there are people out there who need this service and will not abuse it. I am talking about the millions of people who do abuse the system and will abuse this. YOU KNOW I AM RIGHT ABOUT THIS!!
I went to the website and took an extended look. Apparently, for $5 you can get 500 minutes and for $20 you can get 1000 minutes AND 1000 texts.
Seriously, this is f**ked up. I could maybe get the argument that someone in need would need a cell phone in emergency situations, but TEXTING?
Am I just wasting my breath here people?
Okay, it is totally decided. I am going to quit this business and become a bum. I am going to get all my groceries paid for, I am going to apply for housing assistance, get a portion (usually 75%) of my utilities paid for, and get a new cell phone. Then I am going to sit on my ass all day and blog and watch Jerry Springer while waiting for my welfare check.
I hope y'all really do love me, because you may be seeing a lot of me around these parts when I quit my job and begin the next phase of my life - BUMHOOD.