***Yeah, I am aware this post is a little early (these are usually posted on the 1st of every month), but I have something really special planned for the 30th of June, so I have decided to move this popular post up by a week. We will be back on schedule August 1st for your next Douchebag of the Month installment.***
Are we ready for a new installment of the ever popular Douchebag of the Month? Well, the time has arrived again, and I have a good one for you. This is a Douchebag I can honestly say I hate with a passion that burns hotter than the sun. And, dudes, I don't say hate often because I am not the one to hate, but shit, this asshat deserves it like no other before her. Yeah, I said HER. So, let me introduce your newest DOTM........................Judas.
This is the queen of the c*nts at the baby shower I threw for her backstabbing ass. I had NO idea that at the time I was planning and throwing the shower for her, she was scheming behind my back to do the ultimate f**kover.
For those of you who have followed me from the inception of my blog, you may be familiar with her. For those of you who have only followed in the last few months, well, y'all need a formal introduction.
This bitch USED to be my best friend. Well, she said she was my best friend, but shit, even the smartest and savviest of us (i.e. ME) are fooled sometimes. We work together. She was new and I helped her out. She stole a very important client from me and cost me well, let's just say she cost me A LOT of money. She stole this client (my oldest, closest, and BIGGEST client) all while I was throwing her a very elegant baby shower and my husband hand painted her baby nursery. Yeah, I am a sucker and she is a f**ker.
When I confronted her about her blatant assholery, she tried to turn the tables on me. She told everyone that I am a bully and I made her cry (which I DID make her cry, but the bitch deserved it). But no need to worry, because karma is a stone cold bitch and not only found HER, but found her bitch mother who helped her.
Come to find out, she is not only a shitty friend, but also a shitty abstractor, because not long after she overtook my client, she started f**king things up. I have heard of no less than two very big mistakes made by her that cost the attorney she is working for (my old client) a lot of money.
All I have to say is this:
HAHAHAHA..........you deserve everything you still have coming to you bitch. And while it continues to happen, I will be there pointing and laughing at your ass.
So here you go, Judas, here is the last thing you will EVER get from me. Go choke on it, bitch.
17 comments:
Daaaaamn!
Dear baby Jesus,
Please make sure I never cross Amber because I never want to wind up on her douchebag list.
Thanks,
Tyrie
Without seeming a bit nosey, can I ask how you manage to know so many complete and utter wankers? Is there a colony of them near where you live? Are they drawn to you like whales following ley lines, or what?. I'm intrigued.
Yours, Confused Rascal
Tyrie - Hahaha! "Dear Baby Jesus". Love it! Don't worry Tyrie, you have to fuck me over pretty bad to make this list!
Fizzee - like freaking moths to a flame, man. I don't know WHAT it is. Maybe I give off some type of pheromone that attracts them or something. In somewhat of my defence, this is the closest one actually to me. The others are more in the peripherial. I have probably no less confused you though.
Thank you for helping me realize that women can be D-bags too. I never knew that.
To Fizzee,
They are like roaches and ants! Once you see one your screwed!
They come out of the woodworks then and it is hard to get the infestation destroyed or moved on to another.
Scrappy,
Girl you have my sympathies and hope you can find a good DOTM remover/exterminator quickly.
But I love the wheel. "What goes around Comes around" and sometimes faster than they think.
Ok....so did you re-woo the old client back? I would and send her a nice thank you note that says, "Thanks for sucking at your job." :)
Scrappy...definately a worthy recipient of the DBM.
But, does this blog help you get rid of the anger? It isn't healthy to hold on to the rage.
That being said, I do enjoy your rants!
Caffeine - yes. Chicks can be douchebags. Shit, even I can be a douchebag sometimes.
Danny Boy - oh, yeah, baby, what goes around comes around! It's continuing to happen too!
Sara - Unfortunately, I have NOT been able to woo the client back. Her mother works for the client, so she is safe. They both have trash mouthed me to the attorney, and the attorney sent me a shitty letter questioning my work ethic. Asshole. I told you I hated attorneys!!
Nana - Yes, this blog is therapeutic. That is the whole point of these posts.If I get the poison out, maybe somewhere in my heart I can learn to forgive these asshats. Hasn't happened yet, but I am working on it.
Ahh DOTM, comes round so fast. What a bitch. I think we all know one, I'll blog mine one day, could take a few chapters.
But you are right about karma!
Christ you would have to be insane to get on the wrong side of you.
Midnite - yes, she is a bitch and when you blog about yours, I will be there to read it and cheer you on.
Iron - now how in the Hell could you possibly get on my bad side my little Metalhead? Don't worry, dear, because if you do, I will tell you first before I put you up for DOTM.
I love you and your usage of asshat. Brilliant!
Ah, Carolyn, I love you too!! Yes, asshat is one of my most favoritest of insults. It is cute, yet gets the point across. It never ceases to make someone laugh.
I love you my Amber, and this bitch truely is an asshat! Karma, Karma, Karma! I have my own nominee for DOTM....
It's too bad that I can't post any DOTMs. :( I'm pretty sure that since I have my blog linked to my FB page, and over 95% of the people on my FB page are my co-workers (managers and supervisors included), I would be royally screwing myself out of my job. Besides, half of the DOTMs I would post would be idiot clients, of which I cannot take pictures, so it would be rather boring.
I think I'll leave the slamming to you, since you do it best. :P
Love you, Sissy!
Vonney - I know who YOU want to nominate!! I loves you too my BFF.
Nilla Toast - I know what you are saying. You could totally post rants about customers, though. Instead of posting pictures, you could use one of your art programs to draw funny pictures of them. Now that shit would be funny as hell.
Holy Hell.....I'm surrounded by female DOTM's but like Nilla Toast....no way could I rant about them. I might have to send you my Favorite asshat/c**t/f***er./bitch DOTM and let you post my rant and her DUMB photo for the whole fricking world to see. That would definitely improve my damn mood!!!
Love you (and I finally posted something)!!!
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